Prejudices at Work - Part 3

(I am changing the title of these posts, as the original one seemed to convey something else than what I wanted to express, though I am not sure if this one is much better).

I think discrimination is nothing but bias exaggerated, and it may be difficult to define a boundary between the two. At times, the discrimination can be stark and direct, and there are laws to deal with it, though the effectiveness of these laws has always been a question. But most often, it is subtler - indirect hints that keep affirming that despite your competence, you will never be considered at par with your male colleagues, that you will never be one of the team. Let me share two incidents, which are work-related, but not entirely professional, which go on to show the inherent behavioral insensitivity towards women.

The global head of the group my friend K works for, came to her site for a visit, and the site manager invited all his managers for dinner with him. That is, all the managers except K, who, being the only woman in the group, was conveniently forgotten. Only when they reached the restaurant, the site manager was reminded of his omission. He called up K (even apologized!), but by then it was too late for her to make suitable arrangements for her family and reach there.

Another time, my group planned a day outing to celebrate a major release. The fun activities planned for the group consisted of rather physical games of football and cricket – which the few ladies in the team just watched on, feeling left-out, and somehow, betrayed.

Most of the corporates today deny having a glass ceiling for women, but practically, is it difficult to detect its existence? Though this was not the idea behind this set of posts, it was perhaps inevitable that we touch upon this point as well (Perhaps because the initial title was not very apt). Anyway, I had a long discussion on this with N, but he does not agree with me here. But in my view, though the gender ratio at the entry level is same as that in engineering colleges, it gets more and more skewed as the levels increase.

In my decade long stint in my previous company, in the India office I saw only one woman who was a Director (though in a non-product group), and none who was an Architect. [Just to explain the terminology used there, a Director is the owner of a product or an area from management perspective, while Architect is the owner from technical perspective]. I am citing here the experience from my previous company, as I am rather new in the new one to comment, but I strongly suspect that the things are more or less the same.

So, almost all the senior executives in the company were male. And rare few of them had working wives. Most of the wives quit working after marriage/kids, to take care of the household, since the high-flying executives were often busy and/or away on business, gearing up the power ladder, and could not be depended on to consistently attend to domestic responsibilities. I’m sure all these ladies are happy and proud of their spouses’ success, and only sometimes do they wistfully mention their own abandoned dreams. But how many of them have their contribution to this success acknowledged? Mostly, it is just shrugged as a matter-of-fact – “Oh. She quit after we got married”. A gallant way indeed to thank the ladies for their support, sacrifice and hard work.

Here are:

Part 1

Part 2

Prejudices at Work - Part 2

I intuitively suspect a man’s general regard for women, if he talks about specific woman(en) in a demeaning manner, to me or in my presence. It is worse when the man in question is a colleague. The worst is when the woman he makes degrading statements about, happens to be his wife – who takes care of the entire family, and may have sacrificed her own career and interests to do so. [I am more tolerant of jokes against women in general. I view them as fun extracted by majority at the expense of minority, as the gender ratio at workplace is still heavily inclined towards men].

Why do I think this kind of behavior makes the matters worse, when exhibited at workplace? Because, I would think that being highly educated, and after years of working alongside women who have similar accomplishments as themselves, these men would be able to cast aside their prejudices. However, things do not seem to have progressed much in the last decade or so, since I started working. Despite active and increasing contribution from women, the IT industry is still male-dominated, and it follows that you will have many more male colleagues than female, and will frequently encounter prejudiced individuals.

After a few times you have heard your colleague(s) making degrading statements, you start wondering what kind of regard they have for women; and specifically if they have any respect for you, on to whether they take you seriously at all. As it is, women have to work harder to prove themselves and attain any kind of success, in a male bastion, and it becomes very difficult to keep yourself motivated, when you feel that your sincere efforts are being undermined, just because of your gender.

Some people I know, do not accord much importance to the work of their wives, implying that it is undertaken just as a pastime - since the ladies are holding a teaching job, or are working part-time or freelance. Even though, many of these ladies have quit their full-time jobs to look after the family. So much for their selflessness. 

Many of them do not want their wives to work, or want them to quit, so that the family can be taken appropriate care of; at times expressing it in blatantly honest terms – so that they always have good, warm, home-cooked lavish meals (of course, without having to contribute any efforts towards the preparation).

I have friends, who, after working hard for a number of years to build up a great career, quit or took a break for some years, to spend time and enjoy with their little ones. Do you think this was what they achieved? The result was – the family figured that since they were home full-time, they had a lot of free time, and they were therefore swamped with all the chores, leaving them little time for what they took the break for.

As progressive they might believe themselves to be, quite a large percentage of the men still believe that devoting themselves to caring for house and family is the duty of women, and it is their primary responsibility. And sadly, many women are also conditioned to believe the same. Don’t get me wrong, I do not have anything against women who prefer to stay home to look after the family [though I firmly believe in the importance of financial independence], but note the emphasis on “preference” here.

The bottom-line is, if you look at it, it is hard to be appreciated either way. Go to work, and you are guilty of neglecting the family. Don’t, and there’s not much worth given to you.  Can we hope for a time, when women have the complete freedom to make their own decisions, without the burden of expectations from everyone around them? And whatever this decision is, be respected for it?


Here is : Part 1

Prejudices at Work - Part 1

Gender bias and stereotyping has left me concerned and unnerved quite often, more so in the work environment. It does not mean that I do not see or feel the bias in the social or personal setting – I have gone through phases of realization, frustration, revolt and resignation, in this context. But right now, it’s in the context of professional environment, that I want to rant against.

Let me clarify at the beginning that I am not a hard-core male-bashing feminist [the diametrically opposite stereotype, if I may so call it so]. However, I do expect, and demand, a dignity and empathy for women and a recognition of their efforts in different aspects of life. And this should be a woman’s fundamental right - whether she is working (full-time, part –time, or freelance), or is a home-maker. This is a post that I have been thinking of writing for a long time, but which was always getting deferred, and was finally precipitated by an incident at work today.

I was having lunch with two of my (male) colleagues, let’s call them P and J [and no, this is not a PJ ;-)]. To set a bit of context, they have only been slightly acquainted with each other, but I know them both reasonably well. During the course of conversation, they discovered a mutual interest in consumer electronics, they are both gadget freaks, owning full-fledged home-theater systems and what-not. Finding that J is quite knowledgeable about deeper technical aspects of all these things [no surprises there actually – J is a hardware engineer ;-)], P sought his advise on buying the latest iPhone (4) – which model to buy, and how to get an unlocked one from US (lower cost there). While discussing pros and cons, pricing and timing, of different models, P mentioned that he wanted it for his wife, who only uses her phone for calls, and sometimes for mails (a condescending tone there – at her not using the advanced features of smart phones, and I can assure you that it is not because of the lack fo capability). And J promptly replied – in a tone I found even more condescending to women - then you can buy 3Gs only. 

I am all for buying (and paying for), only what you need/use. But I object to the tone and the attitude, reserved by men for women, for certain matters like technology.

The conversation continued in this vein (like, P said he tried to get his wife to use FB on her phone, but she didn’t, and J said the same about his). For a while, I put up with it. Then I finally reacted (with as much dignity and humor I could manage), and said, you sound almost like a racist there. And then, the fire was directed at me

P/J:, do you use iPhone?

Me: Only some times, since its not mine, but I use iPod touch for net access.

P/J: How many apps do you use on it?

Me: (Thinking and wondering): I don’t really use apps. I don’t need ….

P/J: See, there! Anyway! So, what do you do with it?

Me: (rightfully indignant) Well I do all my net access at home through it, my mail, FB, LinkedIn, Browser etc. Don’t really need to access net for anything else.

P/J: Well, you know, there is a difference between accessing FB and Gmail through the apps and the browser … you can access using browser as well ….

Folks?!! Come on!! I take it as a gross insult, for myself, and the whole of woman-kind. We may be from Venus, but the gravity there is not high enough to pull down and out, all of logical reasoning from our beings. I was mad enough to shout at them, but was held back by the decorum demanded by the workplace (and not to mention, my personal incapability of coming up with an acidic retort at the right time).

Inki Boli Hai

Recently, there was a poetry writing contest in my office. The rules were simple - the second line had to end in a given phrase, the rest of the poem had to be in form of couplets, the second line of each rhyming with the given phrase [I wonder why they didn't simply say - Ghazal!].
The poem could be in hindi or english, the phrase for English poems was 'that is what I call fun', and the one for hindi was 'inki boli hai' (this is how they speak).

To state the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth - I didn't win a prize in the contest; but I was one amongst nine to get a participation prize (though I don't yet know what the prize is going to be).

Dil mei.n liye zeher phirte hai.n
Upar se meethi meethi si inki boli hai

Mahalo.n mei.n baith aaraam karei.n khud
Auro.n ki mehnat pe bharti inki jholi hai

Daulat aur taakat hai.n bahut dikhaane ko
Leking andar jhaa.nko to aatmaa poli hai

Yu.n kahne ko hai.n ye sevak junta ke
Logo.n ke dukh-dard par inki hansi-thitholi hai

Lagta hai mujhko praapya uchit inka
Taaj nahin hukumat ka, bandook ki goli hai


Their hearts are filled with poison
On the surface, they are sweet spoken

They luxuriate in their palaces
While others' toil fill their lockers

They have a lot of wealth and power to show
But if you search inside, their soul is hollow

They are the servants of public, so to speak
But for them the common man's sorrows are a joke

I think that what they rightly deserve is
Not the crown of a ruler, but a bullet

Down the Memory Lane - VIII

Try this for Fiction!


Yesterday, I was talking to a senior colleague R, who pulls my leg quite often. During the conversation, he kidded me about demanding a piece of office equipment ...

R: Go and tell GD that the only thing you need in life is a US-connect+caller-id extension phone, rest everything in this world is going great!

Me: I have no great wish for one [and added as a good measure] Only few days back N concluded that I do not crave for any materialistic thing in this world.

R: [laughs] N must be really happy.

Me: Well, I don't about happy, but yes, it is true, that I am not crazy about anything. Perhaps the only thing I am really fond of is books.

R: [dramatically brightened up] Is this really so? [looks around at the technical documentation lying around] I will give all you these conference proceedings, this techinical literature, these publications, when I leave. You can read them with pleasure!

Me: Hold on! Let me clarify! When I meant I like books, I meant FICTION.

R: So?? Who said all of this stuff is for real? They say, do it in this manner, this works great in this way - it is all actually Fiction!

Me: [straightfaced] It is not fiction. It is FANTASY.

Farewell Song

This is a short poem I wrote for the farewell of a colleague. For those who missed it earlier, here is the context.

We've been used to seeing him around, forever
Never thought we'll have to see him leave
Not just days, but years to remember
That it's a thing of past, is hard to believe

From noon to night, him you can catch
Doing the rounds with the dreaded list in hand
His passion for "rightness" is hard to match
In "healthy discussion" with him you can hours spend

A great sense of humor, a deadpan wit
He'll not let you get bored the slightest bit
He has driven a car with open driver's door
We heard no-one can beat him on dance floor
On these things and more, we shall dwell
Long after we've wished him a fond farewell

Farewell song

People join and leave the companies, but the imminent departure of one of my ex-managers is leaving me rather saddened. It is not as if I share a deep bond with him, but I still feel rather sad. I have not worked with him now for almost twice the time that I did, but I still share a great rapport with him. When I first joined the company, he was the one who inducted me, he was my team lead for some time, and then my manager. He was the one I could take real "bugs" to.
Even though I am no longer reporting to him, I still work quite closely with his current team. The team started preparations for his farewell few days back [in my workplace, a person who has worked for that long usually gets a grand farewell, perhaps owing to the large number of people s/he has worked with, and the kind of relationship s/he shares with those around , obviously always matter]. Owing to my association with him, I am also involved in these preparations. He loves to crack jokes, quite often at himself, and his jovial nature is widely admired. I am rather known for my poetic inclinations, so I was entrusted with the responsibility of writing a poem for him, with a touch of humor. But humorous poetry is not my forte at the best of times [although people think otherwise, me having participated in a few hasya kavi sammelans on Holi]; and at this time, I do not feel like cracking a joke on him, about him or with him, though I have done it hundreds of times earlier. So, I am writing that farewell poem, and well, I am going to try keep it on the lighter side.

That time of the Year

It's that time of the year - the period filled with eager anticipation - one which ends with smiles or frowns, but mostly the frowns [and a sudden spurt of good-bye mails]. Yes, it is the time of yearly raises/increments/hikes. The newspapers carried reports of healthy rises, so much so, that it prompted [or rather, forced] the HR of my company to take "proactive" action - all the managers duly called a meeting, in which they informed their worker-ants [ the term subordinates sound way too dignified for what we really are - the worker-ants ;-) ] that the newspaper reports were over-hyped, the HR conducted surveys and found that the average increments across the industry were not all that lucrative. This is what is termed as "setting the expectations right" in the management jargon - though what it almost always translates to is "your hopes are going to be short-lived". Thus armed with the "right expectations" [from the perspective of the management, that is], people entered the dragons' dungeons [their respective managers' offices], and returned with crushed dreams, disappointment written large on their faces.
It is also the time of the annual promotion cycles, and the people who are promoted are encouraged [read nagged ;-)] to treat their team to pizza, lunch outing etc [some miserly souls have had their name written in black letters in the history for getting away with a lesser treatment, but that is another story ;-)]. This also has the similar results as above - smiles or frowns, but mostly the frowns [and a sudden spurt of good-bye mails].
These two factors combined have given me a great inspiration - a brainwave, an innovative idea like I never had before -
Mail to : All team
Subject : You are invited for a treat
Venue : My cubicle

And then, welcome them with a bowl of PEANUTS.

Coding Misadventures - what not to do in C programming

I have been programming for many years now, and I have occasionally claimed that I am an artist at heart, and a software professional by chance. Having said that, I must add that this chance has given me the "dubious" opportunity to encounter many interesting problems, which required hours of debugging, to find an amazingly simple solution.

I have primarily worked with C/CPP on UNIX so far, where I have come across problems that baffled many, for a long time, but the final solution turned out to be trivial, even plain common sense in many cases. These might interest [or perhaps even help] people who are programming in C or in any other language. I have been thinking over publishing some of my mis-adventures in this area, but "Idle Thoughts" does not seem to be the right place for it - they are not really thoughts, idle or otherwise.

Finally, I took the plunge, and created a new blog - Coding Misadventures. In this new blog, I am going to post programming problems as and when I come across them. And I would like to invite interested people to share their experiences, or be a contributor, if they like to.

Down the memory lane - V

It's not a bug

Let me start off by a small clarification for the people who are not so conversant with the software programming terminology - a 'Bug' refers to an error in software code.

There is a certain expert in our field, whose mails/articles are widely followed in our company. In the signature of his e-mails, he used to include this quote (indicating the philosophy usually adopted by software companies) - "It's not a bug, it's a feature".

When I had just joined the company, and was relatively very young in my team, I used to play pranks on my TL (team-lead). One of my favorite ones was to take any insect, dead or alive, found in our seating area, to the TL and tell him - "Sir, see, I found a Bug!!" One day the TL happened to see a mouse running around (no-one still believes it can happen in a high-tech software office!), and called out to me - "You are so adept at catching bugs; go, catch this one". I promptly corrected him, in all seriousness, and a self-righteous manner - "It's not a bug, it's a Creature !"